A certain person wrote me this in the library tonight. We were all just too bored by half of all the studying, so he lightened the mood.

Ode to Catullus By Zach Mason
by Zach Mason

Oh Big C Man with your foul, foul ways
Please write another poem without delay.
Meter is for big fat pussies, Form is for sweaty ballsacs
Get me some anus licking pre-teen so I may fuck him in the ass

My mouth is so dirty, yet somehow I'm clever
For I am Catullus, they will read me forever

Who said that Classics were boring and dull?
Oh yeah, those who read Aristotle.
I can write about hymens, pubes, foreskins and be just ever so crass
Get me some anus licking preteen so I may fuck him in the ass

Put your big cock in my mouth and it will be severed
For I am Catullus, they will read me forever.

The only editorial freedom I have taken is to amend his spelling 'Cattulus' to 'Catullus' for a little clarity.